Saying What Should Be Said

Book of Jacinda Ardern

I was so much looking forward to reading this book. I first listened to Jacinda Ardern’s book as an audiobook, before getting the physical copy pictured here. As is often the case with English audiobooks, it was read by the author herself - which I really loved!

Here is one of several stories in the book that has stayed with me.

While she was studying in Arizona in the United States as an exchange university student, the 9/11 attacks occurred. In the aftermath, during a class discussion where students were encouraged to share their feelings, one student made a comment that struck Jacinda as problematic - something that echoed a racial stereotype (my own words).

She instinctively looked to the professor, expecting some form of guidance. Perhaps he would correct the student, saying something like, “That’s not something we should say.” But to her surprise, the professor simply nodded and let the comment pass.

That prompted her to do something she wouldn’t normally do. She raised her hand and expressed her thoughts in her strong New Zealand accent, trying her best to find the right words. The professor responded with, “You're telling me .... " in a tone that left her no choice but to quickly say, “No! Obviously not." In her book, she reflects on this moment: “I suppose it was a mistake to raise my hand. Some part of me knew this even then.”

After that incident, she decided never to speak again in class. Though she studied diligently, she spent the rest of her time in the US in quiet isolation.

Why the story has stayed with me

This story has stayed with me for weeks. Even after marking the page in the printed book, I keep going back to it.

Why?

One reason this story stays with me is that, in my work as a university lecturer in the Netherlands, I often find myself thinking afterward, “Maybe I should have spoken more clearly.”

That professor in Jacinda’s story, the one who simply nodded at the student’s comment - I wonder what was going through his mind and heart at the time. Did he have something he wanted to say but chose not to? Perhaps, in the immediate aftermath of such a devastating event, he felt he had no choice but to accept the student’s words as they were. I find myself imagining what might have been happening for him in that moment.

Now, four years into the role of university lecturer in the Netherlands, that maybe (I should have spoken) has become a stronger and I’ve become able to speak up more often. But I still sometimes regret how I’ve said things.

These moments often come when a student says something that doesn’t sit quite right with me - that means, problematic as an idea. I have no trouble correcting clear factual mistakes. But it gets harder when dealing with values, perspectives, and assumptions.

Sometimes I sense a student’s view could benefit from rethinking. Other times, their comment is logical but not applicable to the issue at stake. Or I've felt they’re repeating something they’ve heard rather than speaking from their own experience - and I want to say, “Try putting it in your own words.”

Saying what needs to be said, clearly and firmly, in such moments - this is a real challenge.

Saying what needs to be said

Recently, I came across a Japanese newspaper article that quoted a university professor who used to say:"Don’t say what everyone else is saying. Think. Speak in your own words." Well, in English this sounds quite normal, but in Japanese, it is a strong expression.

「人と同じことを話すな。よく考えろ。自分の言葉で話せ」

Reading that, I thought, That’s the kind of teacher I want to be.

But my teaching context is different. This isn’t Japan, it’s the Netherlands, although not all of my students are Dutch. I often wonder - would such direct advice resonate with the young people here I teach?

Perhaps the message would still land, if the delivery were different. For instance:

"Thank you for sharing that perspective. In fact, I don’t quite see it the same way, because there are also situations like XX. The idea you mentioned is widely held these days and has some merit. But it also comes with certain difficulties or limitations that we should be aware of. In any case, I appreciate you sharing your views."

Well, reading this in English, it sounds quite normal, at least in the context I operate in. However, if I translate this into Japanese, it sounds overly formal or even excessive. Perhaps that’s because I never had a professor who spoke to students that way when I was at university in Japan - well, 30 years ago...

I still wonder - do words like “Don’t say what everyone else is saying. Think. Speak in your own words.” in Japanese, 「人と同じことを話すな。よく考えろ。自分の言葉で話せ」resonate today, even in Japan?

I'll continue striving to be a teacher who speaks with honesty, clarity, and steady conviction - even when it's difficult.