Humanitarian coaching tips

With colleagues in Angola - 2005 (?)

What is “humanitarian coaching”?

I've been working as a humanitarian coach with the understanding that it is a coaching partnership between a coachee (or client) who works in humanitarian aid, and a coach. Humanitarian aid is often taken broadly to include not only humanitarian response but also international development and other sectors that seek to make social impact.

In the next couple of blog articles, I will write about this type of coaching - humanitarian coaching. Over the years, I have learned a lot from the partnerships I’ve had, and I would like to share some of those insights in the form of tips - both for coachees (clients) and for coaches.

I am certain that these tips are useful for any coachees, not only those working in the humanitarian aid sector, and likewise for coaches, whether they have a humanitarian background or not.

Coaching is not advice-giving

There seems to be a persistent misconception that coaching means receiving advice or mentoring from someone experienced in a particular field. In higher education in the Netherlands, where I also work, "coaching" often does mean that: a teacher or a senior student acting as a "coach" or "mentor" (confusingly, these two words are often used interchangeably), giving advice or guidance to students.

But here I am talking about coaching as defined by the International Coaching Federation (ICF), from which I hold accreditation. Coaching is the process in which the coach supports the coachee by helping them explore and access the resources they already possess - through a thought-provoking process - without giving direct advice.

So, if coaching is not advice-giving, does the coach's background matter at all? On the surface, it might seem not. But as a coach with a humanitarian background myself, I know it is more nuanced. If I am asked, “Is it a good idea for a humanitarian coach to have a humanitarian background?” my answer is, “Yes and no.” There are pros and cons. And that is what I want to explore.

Why it matters to humanitarians

First, let me share why a coach with a humanitarian background can be valuable to a client in the humanitarian sector.

Over the years, I have worked with clients in the field - often in remote locations, far from capital cities. They work for a cause, side by side with displaced persons and others living in distress. This is a very different reality from what humanitarians call a "normal" life, where everything you need is available in the nearest supermarket.

Many of my clients have told me they felt relieved and reassured to have me as their coach - someone with humanitarian background who already understood the context of their life and work, and the challenges of being a humanitarian aid worker.

Some even said it had been daunting with other coaches. They were asked about detailed information such as the operational context - “What is it like to live in such a remote place?” Not because the client wanted to explore remote living, but because of the coach’s curiosity about the conditions. The client then had to explain this, and could still see the question marks in the coach’s face, or sense it in their energy.

Perhaps the furthest place I have worked: the border between DRC and Angola

More than lived experience

Empathy, deep and active listening, acknowledgment, validation - needless to say, these are core coaching skills. And it means a lot when they come from a coach who truly grasps the kind of experiences the client is talking about. Having lived experience in humanitarian work brings a kind of power that cannot be disputed. But here is something important:

Great humanitarian experiences do not automatically make a great humanitarian coach.

It’s the mastery of coaching that transforms experience into real value for the client. When you let your humanitarian background strengthen your coaching skills, the client feels the difference - yes, they really do. Even without giving advice, a great humanitarian coach listens attentively and empathetically. That in itself is a deeply powerful experience for the client. I can assure you of this from my own practice.

The pitfall: when memories interfere

At the same time, there are pitfalls humanitarian coaches need to be mindful of. For example, when a client mentions feelings of longing - the desire to be “on the ground” in an unfolding emergency, the sense of being left out, the urge to do something or simply be part of the aid worker community - it can trigger memories in me.

A rush of recognition: “Oh, I remember…” or even “Yes, I feel that too… what would it be like to be there now?”

That’s the risk.

As I continue to grow as a coach, I am more conscious of this. I notice when it happens and bring myself back quickly - from the streak of memory and nostalgia - to the here and now, to this client, to their story.

As coaches, our memories must never take the seat meant for the client’s story.

Field work - sometimes by road, sometimes by plane

Here are some of the tips I will be exploring in the next couple of blogs.

Tips for clients (humanitarians seeking a coach)

1. Choose a coach with accredited training. 

2. Have a trial conversation. 

3. Notice how the coach listens. 

   
   

Tips for coaches

1. Remember: humanitarian workers are humans first. 

2. Ask genuine questions. 

3. Avoid saying “I understand” or “I know what you mean.” 

4. Catch yourself in the moment. 

I have worked with humanitarians from organisations such as the Norwegian Refugee Council, the International Organization for Migration, and UNICEF, among many others. I am also currently serving as an external coach for Médecins Sans Frontières and as a pro bono coach for the Humanitarian Coaching Network.

Alongside these well-known organisations, I have also worked with clients from smaller, grassroots, and locally rooted community organisations - people who share the similar spirit and face the similar challenges as those working in the large international agencies.

The tips I will be sharing come directly from these rich and varied coaching experiences with humanitarians.

If you are currently seeking a coach, or simply curious about what coaching is and what value it could bring to you at this point, I invite you to book a free trial session. I would be glad to explore how coaching might support you in your own journey.