A life coach offers no advice

Some may think that a coaching conversation is about the coach giving some advice to the client.

As I briefly mentioned in a previous post, a life coach does not give advice, guidance or impart specific knowledge or skills. They don't say things like, "now that you are in that situation, why don't you try this?". A coach is not a profession that gives advice.

When I was only vaguely familiar with coaching (only two and a half years ago), I thought that a 'life' coach would listen to a client's situation and challenges and give some specific 'guidance'. I also thought that the coach would be, or should be, an expert in the subject area, or at least someone with a lot of experience in that area.

In the same way, I would understand very much if you cannot see me as your coach right now, supposing that you have some topics or challenges in your life that you may want to work on with a coach. I may not appear, from the information available on this website, as a subject-matter expert in that area of your issue or a challenge.

Let's take some examples. What about topics and challenges relating to parenting, education, moving abroad, living in the Netherlands, changing jobs, moving house, living as a single mother, becoming a good leader at work, overcoming burnout, working for the UN, etc. I may have the expertise and/or experience in these areas, but that may not be clear from this website.

There is a certain set of skills in coaching. Acquiring these skills and applying them to coaching conversations with clients is what makes the difference in the coach's abilities. This competence as a coach is more important than expertise or experience in a particular field.

If so, why is it that coaches have so-called 'niches', i.e. specific areas of expertise?

I think it is because, in the niche areas, it is easier to build trust, which is at the core of the coach-client relationship.

Here are some examples.

Let's say you are currently struggling to work in the field as a humanitarian worker and wondering about your future career development and balancing your family life. If I were your coach, you might find it easier or more comfortable communicating their feelings of loneliness and the difficulties of work-life balance to me. Or you might feel that you are heard empathetically or feel reassured that you are being coached in a 'truly approachable' way, at least from a client's point of view.

Truly being with the client is one of the most important skills of coaching. (I think I will write about it at some point).

Skills can be learned and trained. Even if the coach has never experienced what the client is experiencing and brings it as a topic of the coaching conversation, a professional coach should be able to coach in a way that is truly empathetic to the client.

If so, the only thing that makes a difference between a coach in a particular niche area and another coach is that the former may be able to truly and empathetically close to the client in a more speedy way.

On the other hand, a coach could well be an expert in a certain field and/or have had experience in a certain role. In my case, I have worked in the field as an employee of an international organisation; I was brought up by a single mother and was a single mother myself.

But a coach will never say in a coaching conversation, "this is how I did it, and it worked. So why don't you do that too?"

A coach's area of expertise/knowledge and past experience, however significant as their 'background', has little relevance to their coaching skills and has no impact on the quality of the coaching conversation.

My mentor coach, Carly Anderson, has stated the following in this blog post:

"Questions evoked different responses than they could have thought of on their own or with a coach from their same company, or professional background (which is why it's often more effective to hire a coach NOT from the same profession or background as their coaching client, because such a coach will likely ask questions from their experience, which may be limiting. Or cross over into mentoring, consulting or offering advice)."

I have appreciated this approach. It makes sense that a coach may unintentionally lead the coaching conversation or be tempted to offer guidance if they work with a client from the same specialisation.

What would be your thoughts?

Is a life coach what you need right now?

[This article is a translation from its original Japanese version.]

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