Embrace the power of introverts

A 'new school year' has begun in where I live.

I've been excited to see new faces on campus. Seeing the sparkling eyes of the new students makes the residual stress from the previous school year, that didn't completely heal during the summer break, just disappear.

The photo is of me when I was 15 years old, just starting high school. In Japan, the new school year begins in April.

This time of the year reminds me of the importance of respecting diverse learning styles.

At school and at work, what is your style of participation? In a class, in a meeting?

Having studied at two graduate schools in the UK and in the Netherlands and worked for the United Nations organisations for 20+ years, I must say I suffered quite a lot. It is because, in such organisations, the so-called Western-style standard of participation was naturally considered favourable.

I was often asked, after a class or a meeting, "why didn't you say anything?" or "why are you so quiet?" Another participant of a meeting bluntly told me once, "you are not a very sharing person".

This topic was often on a performance evaluation conversation with a supervisor who gently but firmly advised me to be more assertive and 'energetic'.

After going through such experiences, I became a coach three years ago. And it's been two years since I became a university lecturer.

Recently, I had more than just one coaching conversation with clients where the topic happened to be exactly this. These clients, women and men, all from south-east Asia, shared with me how discouraged, disappointed, frustrated, unappreciated and above all – sad they felt when they were given such remarks. And they all said they wanted "to do something about it" and "to change myself".

With the beautiful phrase of #diversity, #equity and #inclusion, work and learning places and spaces have supposedly become much more culturally sensitive and respectful to each individual's learning and participation 'style'.

However, these places still expect students and employees to be assertive, meaning talkative, vocal and forthcoming and take that as a sign of true engagement.

I think it is not fair, and it is actually wrong.

Reading #Quiet – The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain some years ago was not only eye-opening but literally liberating to me. Learning #Culturalintelligence from David Livermore was another enriching and insightful experience.

There are people who think deeply alone, without verbalising their thoughts. Often, speaking up in a class/meeting and discussing with others disturbs their thinking process. But they are still actively engaged at the moment. I am one of them.

These coaching clients shared with me how they tried to speak up and be active, even against their style. From my experience, I can also say I tried to challenge myself to break out of my own shell. I failed most of the time.

At such times, I wished the class teacher or the meeting facilitator were much more sensitive to our different learning/participation styles. I wished they were more empathetic to the different needs of these people.

At this time of the year, as a #lecturer, #facilitator and #coach, I want to remember this in my heart and continue supporting students and participants with diverse styles.